I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize