Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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