..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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