I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The uberlube is also flammable
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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