dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
