in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
