I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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