Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I touched a dick in church today
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
