I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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