No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
