apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
