4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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