I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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