apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
