he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
