Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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