This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
