Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
