i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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