i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
