those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
