Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
