if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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