Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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