So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize