I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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