The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hippo gnu deer
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
