just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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