He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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