It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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