omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
