Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
