At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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