i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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