I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
