p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
