She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
