I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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