you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
