She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
