i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
