We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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