In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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