i think my mom watched the whole time
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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