I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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