if only i could text you this smell
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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