chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
