CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
