have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
