12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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