I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
