So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
