My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize